Struggling with same sex attraction?
Many Christians struggle with same sex attraction and want to be free from it. Here are some things that might help!
- Temptation isn’t sin.
Jesus was tempted in all points like we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15).
There is no temptation that has taken you, but such as is common to man… way to escape (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Just because a thought goes through your head, doesn’t mean you are giving in. There’s a saying “You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest there.” In other words, thoughts go through your brain, but you don’t have to give them a place in your mind. A thought comes and part of you likes it, but you choose not to go along with it, and you focus on something else. God judges based on your will (Jeremiah 17:10) and knows you are making the right choice!
2. Feelings are not your identity.
Some people call themselves “gay/lesbian” simply because of their feelings, even if they don’t act on them. Some people just wonder if that’s what they are.
Feeling tempted to steal doesn’t make you a thief if you never give in, and feeling tempted to drink doesn’t make you a drunk if you never give in.
Your identity and value come from being created in the image of God — as we all are (Genesis 1:27, 9:6).
3. Don’t lose hope for overcoming it.
Some people have had their feelings change over time. It’s not instant, but there are techniques people use to change their feelings. It’s the way the brain works, replacing old thoughts with new ones.
One of my favorite tools for mental/emotional health is NLP (neurolinguistic programming). There’s a variety of techniques that apply to basically any thoughts, emotions, or desires you might have. Look it up!
One thing to keep in mind is that when you’re struggling with same sex attraction, you don’t have to create opposite sex attraction (especially if your temptation is sexual, don’t go there). Focus on your relationship with God most of all!
If you do want to get married, you can get to know someone (opposite gender) and you’ll naturally grow emotionally attached. It’s the way we’re made for close relationships! Then once you’re married, you can be intentional about being attracted to your spouse in every way.
The bottom line is we DO have control over our thoughts! Feelings are more elusive but even those can be controlled over time.
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